i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize