he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
