Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
