the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
