you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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