Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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