Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
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It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
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Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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