DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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