Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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