I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Randomize
