It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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