So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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