Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
