You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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