Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
grandma shit on top of the toilet
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
