wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
