The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
