Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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