her vagine was all disorganized.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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