im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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