I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize