To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
