THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.