In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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