Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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