Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
