when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
sarcasm needs its own font
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
