I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
