it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize