I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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