She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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