I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
