exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
