At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
