Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
