And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
