This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
