I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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