??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
The air taste purple.
Randomize
