Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
