She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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