they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
