I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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