Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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