well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I would fuck him just for his dog
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
