pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I accidentally had phone sex last night
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Is it penis luge time yet?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
