Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
