Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
