Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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