Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
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This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
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he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.