Ketchup is God's man juice
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.