The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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