ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
