he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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