What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
