Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
