Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
