Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
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Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
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Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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