I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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