Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
