U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
